September 16th, 2012. I had just started my first full time job after graduating from Iowa State University. I was living in the big city of Des Moines and couldn’t wait to get home for a weekend on the farm! If I only had known that weekend would change me for forever.

I loved riding horses and with the beautiful weather I was itching to go ride. So I saddled up a horse and we went riding. Like we’ve done a million times. I was going to be riding by myself, but didn’t think anything of it. I had my cell phone in case anything happened. I thought I was prepared. I didn’t even make it 10 minutes.

I woke up at the University of Iowa Hospital in their emergency surgery area. I was air flighted into Iowa City. Later I would find out that a little girl had looked out the window and told her grandpa there was a horse with no rider outside. He came to find me passed out and bleeding. If you don’t believe in guardian angels, I hope you do now, because if that little girl would have never said anything I would have died.

To this day we aren’t sure what happened. We don’t know if the horse spooked, tripped over something, or if a tree branch hit her. No one blames the horse because my conditions made doctors assume it was just a freak accident. She was a wonderfully kind horse that was always gentle. All we know is that the frontal part of my brain is bruised, causing me to lose my sense of smell (I can smell very strong scents, but that’s it).  I lost some hearing in my right ear and sprained my neck. My head was fractured from the top to the bottom. I saw double for 6 weeks. I didn’t have a scratch on my body. It’s as if I just fell off and hit head first. Doctors say that I may not remember what happened because brains block out traumatic events.

I spent three weeks in a hospital room fighting large amounts of pain and trying to focus on people/things/t.v. with double vision. I had to go through physical therapy to regain strength and balance. I had to power through my double vision and work with a therapist on my sight. Nurses had to bathe me and help me walk. They were thee most wonderful women I have ever met. They nurtured me, made me feel safe, and made me feel comfortable and not alone in this process. After I recovered, I took them a cake to thank them for everything they did for me.

Once home from the hospital I began the actually recovery process. I could take a shower on my own, with my mom sitting in the bathroom in case I needed her, I went to eye therapy to see if they could fix my double vision (eye therapy sucks), and I had to wear a neck-brace all day long.

My job had told me that I could have 6 weeks and then they would figure out the next steps. Whatever that meant. Well. I didn’t need the next steps. My vision eventually came back, I didn’t have to wear the brace ALL day long and I was becoming myself again. PERFECT! So back to Des Moines I went.

Then the mental pieces fell apart. Apparently when you go through a traumatic event you become very depressed. Well since I already had depression, adding more to the depression pile wasn’t such a good idea. I was having a hard time dealing with living alone with no friends in the Des Moines area. I cried myself to sleep every night and dreaded the thought of going to work and fighting the physical pain every day. The night I told my mom that I didn’t feel like living anymore was the night I realized that I needed to get help.

I started looking for other jobs and eventually found one that would let me move home. I, unfortunately, put my two weeks in at my job (and just so you know, I loved my job, who I worked with, and what I was doing, but I had to do this for me). I took a pay cut and moved home. To the farm. To the cows. To the family that loves me every day.

I went to the doctor, got help, and started moving my life forward. Along this process I found the Farmer, figured out who my real friends are, how important family is, and that I should wear a helmet.

To this day I still ride horses, with a helmet. And I still pray to God daily for allowing me to survive my accident, meet the man of my dreams, and let me live such a wonderful life.