You know that girl you’re jealous of? You secretly hate her because she has EVERYTHING going for her. She’s perfect, everyone loves her, and she’s pretty. But she’s not.

I have had a few people in the last few weeks tell me that they would kill to have my life and have the things I have. I, of course, say ‘thank you’ and tell them I have a very blessed life.

What I don’t tell them is what my life is really like. The daily struggles I have. The things I have worked my a$# off to have. The obstacles I have had to jump to find my little pieces of happiness. How hard I have to work to afford the clothes I have (which aren’t anything special). The amount of pain I had to go through to get this ‘great’ smile. The amount of steroids I have to use on my psoriasis to have ‘great complexion’.

So I started looking at the girls around me. The girls that look like they have everything and started thinking–what’s her real story? What makes her sad, what does she want most in this world and can’t have, what does she never tell anyone? Some girls I could easily tell, some girls I still wonder. Some girls want to be able to afford lots of great clothes. Others want an acne free face. Some just want a smaller butt. Some would like to have a better family atmosphere.

It’s amazing what you find out once you get to know a person and stop judging them by what they put on Facebook or Instagram. It’s so refreshing to know that you’re not the only girl in this world that works hard to have a good life. Or hiding behind years and years of acne and for once you finally have it cleared up.

So go ahead. Keep hating that girl because she looks pretty today (Even though she feels ugly and has self esteem problems). Go ahead and bash her behind her back because she’s ‘living your dream’ (When in reality she’s worked her butt off to earn that happiness).

Or get to know her. Be happy for her and the little things she accomplishes. She may have won an award and posted it on Facebook nine times and you’re SO SICK OF SEEING IT, but maybe she doesn’t have a mom or dad to show (or ones that care).

Instead of trying to ‘out-do’ each other all the time, why can’t we thrive off each other’s hard work? Congratulate girls when they do amazing things, tell them they’re pretty, tell them you hate them BECAUSE they are so pretty, get to know them, share your stories of defeat, and most of all, grow a sisterhood with them instead of a ‘hate club’ against them.

We ALL have struggles. We ALL get defeated. Not every day is perfect. And neither are we.

–Kellie