Many of you know what a real passion I have for agriculture and my cattle. Many of you know that Otis is my favorite bull and I love to snuggle him. Many of you know that the 3020 is my favorite tractor and is very important to me. But do many of you know that I suffer from depression and anxiety? It’s not something I’m proud of or something I like to talk about, but it’s who I am and it’s what was handed to me in life. So I deal with it. And I deal with it by farming.
Farming is something that takes so much from a person that it makes them forget their own issues and problems. I don’t have time to dwell on the fact that I feel low or sad for no reason. I have to keep my mind focused and ‘locked-in’ on every task. If I let my mind wander I could get it stuck in a PTO shaft or a grain sweep. I could get taken out by a cow or hit by a tractor. I could lose a sick calf or not notice when the calves are getting sick. Farming is a constant job that doesn’t allow me to be selfish and think about myself. The entire time I’m out on the farm I’m thinking of the best things to do for my cattle and my land. I’m not thinking about how much I ache–mainly because I don’t when I’m farming.
Petting Otis takes away the worst pain in the world. Not only Otis, but all my other cows that love their backs scratched. Leaning my body up against such a powerful creature is so extraordinary that it brings such joy to my heart. The endorphins are addictive and luxurious. Once you pet a cow you never want to stop. You never want to stop having that incredible feeling. You never want to leave that spot. You want to sit there for hours and soak in the joy of having an animal trust and love you so much that they trust you to pet and touch them. It’s such an amazing feeling that while I’m sitting here, typing, I can feel the endorphins working.
The 3020 is a very important tractor to me, but that’s not the only reason I love it. Once you take the tractor out on a beautiful fall, spring, summer, or winter day you would know why I love it. Having the power of such a powerful machine at the tips of your fingers, feeding animals that come RUNNING with joy to see you, having the wind blow through your hair, the smell of diesel smoke, and the freedom of driving anywhere is marvelous. Oh the freedom is one of the best parts. Then the wind blowing on your face is the next. The fresh air is contagious and makes you feel clean, starting from scratch, and ready for whatever comes your way. Imagine riding in a convertible, but being able to drive wherever you fancy. Imagine being able to go as fast as you want and don’t have to worry about being pulled over. Oh it’s a glorious feeling.
Some people are passionate about farming and do it because they love it. Some people, like me, do it to survive….and well because we love it too!